Lovestruck Chuck Rosenthal (See Chuck is in Love) released this statement today:

“Recently some Harris County District Attorney inner office emails have been released in the media.

I understand that I have said some things that have caused pain and difficulty for my family, my coworkers and friends.  I deeply regret having said those things.  Moreover, I am sorry for the problems I have caused anyone.

I also understand that sometimes things happen for a purpose.  This event has served as a wake-up call to me to get my house in order both literally and figuratively.”

Ya think?  Romeo, you’d best take your pants to the tailors and get those faulty zippers replaced.  Again.

One of our usually reliable sources in Houston said to watch for Chuck’s resignation announcement.  While we agree wholeheartedly that he needs to resign because his actions reflect his lack of personal integrity which; therefore, reflects poorly upon the integrity of his DA’s office, we’ll wait and see.  We’re five days away from the filing deadline. 

Five days can be an awfully loooong time in Texas politics.  

UPDATE  UPDATE   UPDATE:  Now you’ve gone and done it Chuck.  You’ve made the New York Times.  But not in a good way.  Thanks for the black eye.  WTF is the “zone of privacy” anyway?  Is that like the “cone of silence”?  And, to add another layer of stoopid to all this, for your defense, you had to pull out a legal decision that you LOST before the freakin’ Supreme Court - Lawrence v Texas.  Did you go to the Alberto Gonzales School of Law Stoopid? 

UPDATE   UPDATE   UPDATE:  Today’s Houston Chronicle reported that the Harris County GOP Chairman, Jared Woodfill, is meeting with party leaders to discuss Lovestruck Chuck’s political future.  Uh oh.

“He’s done a good job as district attorney, but this is a serious mistake that we are dealing with right now,” he said.  We’re taking it very seriously.”

Time to cue the theme from Jaws…

(Woodfill) declined to say whether the party would draft a primary election opponent for Rosenthal, who is running for reelection, call on him to resign, or support him despite the concern about his conduct.

We think this should be a no-brainer for any republican, but we know politics can make for some very strange bedfellows.  Which, in this case, could be very kinky indeed. 

What is it about republican office holders that think republican values don’t apply to them? 

Following in the footsteps of former congressman Mark Foley, it seems like Harris County’s District Attorney, Chuck Rosenthal, forgot emails are forever.  Especially those emails you send from your County-owned computer.  What part of “open records” do you not understand??  What part of “fidelity” and “adultery” do you not understand?

Dumb, Chuck.  Really. Dumb.

What makes us want to up chuck, Chuck, are the mash notes emailed to your former mistress and current Executive Assistant, Kerry Stevens, some of which were printed in today’s Houston Chronicle.  The emails are exhibits in a federal civil rights lawsuit filed against the Harris County Sheriff’s Office.

Of course, we understand that we might be misinterpreting those emails.  Heck, for all we know, you’re a very friendly manager and that, as a matter of course, you might email all your employees,

“The very next time I see you, I want to kiss you behind your right ear.”

Just what in tarnation is going on up in Chuck’s office – Pucker up, y’all, here comes the boss??  Wet willies for one and all??  You know, for some reason, we just can’t picture Wilco’s DA, John Bradley, doing that, even though we are much friendlier folk here than they are in Houston.

Chuck is blaming the release of the emails on ”bare knuckle politics” engineered by his political opponents.  *snort*  That’s some really weak sauce.  Yo, Romeo - who wrote the stoopid emails on his office computer in the first place?  Who knew the Harris County DA was such a panty waist when it comes to defending his honor?  Who knew his office was such a Peyton Place? 

According to the Chronicle, Chuck admitted having an affair with Ms. Stevens during his first marriage.  Why, he even told his second wife about the affair before he hired Stevens to be his Executive Assistant.  So you think that makes everything OK?  Most women we know would not cotton to that at all.  No way.  Did you also tell her that you gave your former paramour, the lady with the delectable right ear, a county car to use?  D’uh Chuck, did you forget your wife is a retired FBI agent?  

Of the 12,000 emails originally requested in the suit, 860 were produced, and 130 of those were deemed priviledged.  Just 51 are mentioned in the Chronicle article.  While the 51 emails have been re-sealed by a federal judge, who knows what the other 11,949 might contain. 

Thanks to you Chuck, it’s entirely possible we might loose yet another office to the dimocrats, who have former Houston Police Chief Clarence Bradford as their standard bearer in the race.  

Pucker up, y’all, here comes da dimocrat.

As you spend time with family and friends today, please offer a blessing to those who are unable to be with theirs. 

Whether they be soldiers, sailors, police officers, troopers, doctors, or nurses, they give up their holiday so that you may safely enjoy yours.  They deserve our thanks today.

Texas Monthly Editor Evan Smith says that speaker Craddick has a dimocrat opponent.   Something dimocrats haven’t been able to do since…uh…..sometime before we were born.  This probably would have made the national news had it not been for Jamie Lynn Spears. 

Not that Midland City Councilman Bill Dingus has a snowball’s chance in a district so republican that even the dirt is red out there.  Now if a republican opponent were to surface in the next 14 day, that would be a horse of a different color.

Yee haw!  Bet things are starting to get mighty interesting over in the capitol crib right now.   

Looks like we might not have speaker Craddick to kick around much longer.  If the results of the special election in HD 97 (Anna Mowery’s seat) are any indication, we just lost a solid red seat to a dimocrat and might very well lose the majority in the House.   Mowery’s district was a solid 60% + red district. 

Until tonight that is. 

Early Voting returns ran 55% to 44% in favor of dimocrat Dan Barrett over republican Mark Shelton.  With all of today’s runoff election votes counted, Shelton was only able to increase his vote to 47%.  Too bad close only counts in horseshoes, not runoff elections. 

Shelton allegedly has been linked to some robocalls in the district that took out republicans Bob Leonard & Craig Goldman- thus clearing the way for the dimocrat candidate to make it into the runoff.  Smooth, dude.  Really smooth.

Thanks to you, mister speaker, we can color this seat blue. 

Hope you enjoy serving on the Agriculture Committee next session after the dimocrats flush you right down one of those $1,000 toilets in your capitol crib.

Whatever would we do without people from Arkansas running for President?  We’d just be stuck making fun of those damn yankees and those bi-coastal pointy-headed liberals. 

While we enjoy the rough and tumble of hard-fought campaigns, fisticuffs, and maybe even an out and out brawl, there comes a point at which your mouth seriously overloads your a$$ and you cross that line.

Arkansas’ Goobernor Mike Huckabee, a fifth-tier presidential candidate if there ever was one, is leaving no stone unthrown in his scramble for the White House.  His current target?  Fellow Governor Mitt Romney of Massachusetts, who in Huckabee’s reckoning, is the next best thing to a devil worshipper.  In addition to being from Bill & Hillary’s home state, Huckabee’s an ordained Baptist minister.  Therefore, he surely knows a thing or two about organized religion.

Too bad he stops at just knowing a thing or two. 

Huckabee’s hate rant against Romney’s religion leaves little doubt in our minds about the narrowness of his.  Just what we need, a wannabe kkklansman on the red ticket next November.   And Huckkkabee just might get there, judging from the silence from our side of the aisle.

Huckkkabee’s an absolute disgrace to his party, to his church, and to his State - even if it is Arkansas. 

Those who remain silent are just as disgraceful as Huckkkabee.  And deserving of the same censure.  A pointy head covered by a set of 500 thread count sheets is still a pointy head. 

We’ve told you that Texas politics is a full contact sport, but it looks like you didn’t take us seriously.  Now it looks like Mike Krusee might have been gut shot by his former BFF.   A big-mouthed birdie let us in on some local push polling that seems to have pushed the squeaker right out of the race.

Seems the push poll included some questions about the long-standing rumors about Krusee’s personal life.  Given the nature of the rumors, apparently most respondents indicated Krusee was toast as far as they were concerned. 

We don’t know the rest of the questions.  We don’t know if his ”Let Them Pay Tolls” fervor or his on-again off-again romance as mistress to speaker Craddick affected responses either.  All we were told was that the responses were not the least bit favorable.  Gazing into his Magic 8 Ball and seeing life as he knows it going down the toilet, Krusee decided to retire.  In an interesting twist, he didn’t pull out the usual “to spend more time with my family” excuse.  Instead, he said it was to pursue other opportunities.  His new mistress?  Transportation organizations, of course.

Here’s where it gets juicy:  according to our anonymous tipster, the push poll was conducted at the behest of speaker Craddick.  No big surprise there.  Seems like Hell hath no fury like a speaker scorned. 

The devil is indeed in the details.  What puts this push poll in the top tier of political dirty tricks: the poll universe allegedly was local dimocrat voters.  If true, it was truly reprehensible act, but heck, we sure do love it when a good plan comes together.  If Krusee was too stoopid to ask about at the poll universe, well, he’s way too stoopid to reelect.

Lots of people have mumbled about running, but only two have filed on the right side of the ballot (we don’t count the dimocrat, ’cause that’s the left side). 

John Gordon, local republican honcho, former SREC member, and Krusee aide, tossed his fedora into the ring last week and already has the district littered with his campaign signs.  Chalk up another crony pledge for Craddick for speaker. 

Dee Hobbs, scion of JP Judy Hobbs, and an Assistant County Attorney, also filed.  The mud machine has already started up on this one.  He’s a bit behind coming out of the starting gate and currently playing coy about his choice for speaker.  We see this as a major mistake as this race is gonna be ALL about the speaker. 

Over on the other side of the county, Craddick doesn’t have to worry about bed-mate little Danny Gattis. He’s got that member’s member vote solidly in his grasp and nobody has started sniffing around for that seat.

Yet.

Didn’t we tell you it was gonna be a fun election cycle?