Gee, why were we not surprised by the guv’s endorsement last Wednesday of serial adulterer presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani?  After all, he likened his endorsement to buying a pick up truck:

“I go to buy a pickup truck, if it’s got one option on it I’m either not particularly for of or not looking for, it doesn’t mean I discard that pickup truck.”

Randy Rudy must be so underwhelmed to be compared to a spray-on bedliner, a three-on-the-tree, or say, an eight-track tape player.  Could be our governor is just easy pickin’s for car salesmen…Uh, wait, wasn’t Perry’s BFF our former Secretary of State, Roger Williams, once a used car salesman? 

Rumors have been around for years that Perry’s been lusting after that heavily guarded little white house on Pennsylvania Avenue.  However, the story goes, he figured the best route was via that other little house, you know, the one peering down on Massachusetts Avenue.  Now if he can just get the Cheney’s to move on….

Our magic eight ball is forecasting that, come next August, Her Royal Clintoness is going to sew up the dimocrat nomination as tight as she’d wished she had sewn up her hubby’s fly.   When that happens, Giuliani will disavow Perry as a possible running mate.  While it’s still an open race for the red team banner, whoever represents the party of Lincoln will have about three days to suck up to make up his mind before we are suckerpunched by the dimocrats.  “Let he (or she) who is without sin cast the first stone”…ad nauseum.

Now, our magic eight ball forecasts the best way to derail HRC is to put our very own Senator Kay in the veep slot.  With her on the red ballot, Guliani- or whoever- gets a veep that can help him keep the votes of our women folk in the red side of the bed.  Last we saw, that was about 54% of voters.  That’s a pretty big pocketbook of potential electoral wrath if you scorn it. 

Just remember, you read it here first.   Now it’s up to Kay.  Will she settle for a shot at that little house on Colorado Street (and a battle to the last dollar of the DewMan)?  Or, will she step up to the plate and come out swinging for the fences to save our nation from the second coming of the Clinton’s?

We can only hope.

Senator “Wide Stance” Craig came out and announced that he would not give up his senate seat after all.  Big surprise there. 

His press release says it all.  In a convoluted sort of way…. 

Claiming he simply must stay in the senate to clear his name with the senate Ethics Committee, Craig also related that he will continue to explore his legal options to clear his name because he is innocent of the charges against him.  Yeah, buddy.  That’s why you pleaded guilty.

He goes on to say another reason that he must remain in office is because he has lots of seniority & has seats on the Appropriations, Energy & Natural Resources, and the Veteran’s Affairs Committees - and any replacement “would be highly unlikely to obtain these posts”.   He ends his release stating he will retire at the end of his term.  So much for the great benefits of keeping him in office.

After 17 years in the senate - that’s the best he can do?  If you want to see how really wonderful he’s been at bringing the bacon home for all those Idaho potatoes, check out the accomplishments page on his website.  

We’re especially interested in his 2007 award for protecting children online, the 2007 Internet Keep Safe Coalition Award.  That award was presented on June 20, 2007 by the reigning Miss America……a mere nine days after he was busted for soliciting sex - or as he puts it - his “wide stance” - in the john in the Minneapolis airport (see Hot Potato). 

Guess he forgot to tell the Coalition and Miss America all about his gay sexcapades in a public place.   Guess he thought it didn’t count since it was in person - not in cyberspace.

Guess ol’ Larry just might have a wide stance after all, cause his huevos gotta be the size of Australia.   Your kids are waaaaay safer now because of him.

UPDATE  UPDATE  UPDATE:   Good grief.  Ol’ wide stance just doesn’t get it, does he??  Somebody really ought to check his vital signs to make sure he hasn’t been taken over by those aliens from the movie Cocoon or something.  In an attempt to salvage what’s left of his political career, he sat for an interview with Matt Lauer of NBC.   That was another mistake.

Leave it to the Spud Stud to keep on digging in what is now a verrry deep hole.  After tapdancing (hee hee hee) around what he really mean by his “intent” to resign, he went off on presidential candidate Mitt Romney.  Apparently befuddled by Romney’s lack of sympathy for his plight, Craig ranted:

“I’d worked hard for him here in (Idaho).  I was a co-chair of his campaign on Capitol Hill.  And he not only threw me under his campaign bus, he backed up and ran over me again.” 

Well, d’uh.  We’re glad Mitt took the mitts off and bitchslapped the Spud Stud right out of his campaign.  You rock Romney!! We only wish some of our other republican officeholders had the cojones to what Romney did.   Here in Wilco World, we believe republican values should always trump political expediency.