Gee Wiz. Looks like we won’t have John Kerry to kick around any more. He’s done and gone dropped out of the race for the dimocrat nomination for president.
It would have been fun recycling all that stuff from 2004 but, what the hay, we need a new candidate to keep our opposition researchers busy and rolling in the green stuff.
Waah, waah, waahhhh. It seems that some of our guest workers citizens didn’t care for Ted Nugent’s set at the Texas Inaugural Bash. Boo. Hoo. Hoo.
As long-time Parrotheads, we might have suggested Jimmy Buffet instead of the Motor City Madman, but there’s no denying Nugent can rock the house. Which he proceded to do. Which, of course, blew out some hearing aids and twisted a couple of knickers into knots. The resulting hubbub is nearly as stoopid as former Vice-President Dan Quayle admonishing a TV character (Murphy Brown) who got herself knocked up outside the bonds of matrimony.
Here’s Ted’s response to it all in the Waco Tribune. Keep rockin’
It’s the third Friday of the session and Speaker Craddick finally revealed his prom dates for the session. Like most prom dates these days, they know they have to put out in exchange for this date. Thus, the Speaker is guaranteed to score more home runs in the back seat house chambers than the entire Aggie football team after beating Texas.
Let’s fact check our tipster and see how close the predictions were:
Agriculture & Livestock: Rick Hardcastle (R-Vernon) Sid Miller (R-Stephenville)
Appropriations: Warren Chisum (R-Pampa)
Border & International Affairs: Norma Chavez (D-El Paso) Tracy King (D-Eagle Pass)
Business & Industry: Helen Giddings (D-Dallas)
Calendars: Beverly Woolley (R-Houston)
Civil Practices: Patrick Rose (D-Dripping Springs) Byron Cook (R-Corsicana)
Corrections: Jerry Madden (R-Richardson)
County Affairs: Wayne Smith (R-Baytown)
Criminal Jurisprudence: Aaron Pena (D-Edinburg)
Culture, Recreation & Tourism: Harvey Hildebran (R-Kerrville)
Defense Affairs & State-Federal Relations: Frank Corte, Jr. (R-San Antonio)
Economic Development - Lois Kolkorst (R-Brenham) Joe Deshotel (D-Beaumont)
Elections: Dwayne Bohac (R-Houston) Leo Berman (R-Tyler)
Energy Resources: Myra Crownover (R-Denton) Rick Hardcastle (R-Vernon)
Environmental Regulation: Dennis Bonnen (R-Angleton)
Financial Institutions: Burt Solomons (R-Carrollton)
General Investigating and Ethics: Tracy King (D-Eagle Pass) Larry Phillips (R-Sherman)
Government Reform: John Otto (R-Liberty) Bill Callegari (R-Houston)
Higher Education: Geanie Morrison (R-Victoria)
House Adminstration: Leo Berman (R-Tyler) Tony Goolsby (R-Dallas)
Human Services: Vickie Truitt (R-Keller) Patrick Rose (D-Dripping Springs)
Insurance: John Smithee (R-Amarillo)
Judiciary: Will Hartnett (R-Dallas)
Juvenile Justice & Family Issues: Harold Dutton (D-Houston)
Land & Resource Management: Anna Mowery (R-Fort Worth)
Law Enforcement: Joe Driver (R-Garland)
Licensing & Administrative Procedures: Kino Flores (D-Mission)
Local & Consent Calendars: Charlie Howard (R-Sugar Land)
Local Government Ways & Means: Fred Hill (R-Richardson)
Natural Resources: Robert Puente (D-San Antonio)
Pensions & Investments: Dan Flynn (R-Van) Vicki Truitt (R-Keller)
Public Education: Rob Eissler (R-The Woodlands)
Public Health: Dianne White Delisi (R-Temple)
Redistricting: Joe Crabb (R-Atascocita)
Regulated Industries: Phil King (R-Weatherford)
Rules & Resolutions: Dan Branch (R-Dallas) Ruth Jones McClendon (D-San Antonio)
State Affairs: David Swinford (R-Dumas)
Transportation: Mike Krusee (R-Round Rock)
Urban Affairs: Kevin Bailey (D-Houston)
Ways & Means: Jim Keffer (R-Eastland)
Next Tuesday is the big vote on whether or not to suspend the rules to hear non-emergency bills. Lather up you little cuties……
Rumor has it (and by rumor we mean this DID NOT come from Speaker Craddick) that the Speaker will announce his committee chairs tomorrow. That’s lame. Whatever news it would generate will be drowned out by W’s SOTU tommorrow.
We say, what the heck! We’ve gone two weeks without any committees - what’s the rush?? How about this - let’s not appoint ANY house committee chairs this session and let the members actually work the bills from the floor. What a concept! Of course, the speaker would need a bigger apartment to hold all the fat cats and lobbyists. Maybe we should line the back halls with portapotties to handle the overflow…..
A little birdie told us that Craddick is giving Patrick Rose a chairmanship in advance of Rose’s switching parties at the end of the session. Hmmm. Don’t know if we believe that one or not. Could be that little birdie’s itty bitty bird brain is being slowly consumed by those deadly Congress Avenue parasites…
Only 127 days left until sine die.
Her Royal Clintoness surprised no one and tossed her panties into the 2008 dimocrat Presidential race. Grab the barfbag and check out her website.
This is going to be sooooo much fun, it should probably be illegal.
After winning reelection as Speaker, Craddick mumbled and stumbled around a bit and played coy about his committee chair selections, reminding everyone that he was a changed speaker. Then, Lt. Governor David Dewhurst announced the Senate Committee chairs last Friday and said his team is ready to begin the work they were sent to Austin to do. Too bad it takes the House so darn long to get their act together.
According to one of our tipsters, Speaker Craddick has chosen his 40 committee chairs. Of the 15 committees with new chairs, seven remained in republican control, one remained in dimocrat control, and four changed over to republican control. It’s those remaining three that went from the republican side to the dimocrat side that we are having a hard time wrapping our heads around. We’re not saying it was all payback or quid pro quo for speaker votes reflected in these selections, but some long-time BFFs are toast. We highlighted the dimocrats just to keep our readers on their toes.
Agriculture & Livestock: Rick Hardcastle (R-Vernon)
Appropriations: Jim Pitts (R-Waxahachie) Warren Chisum (R-Pampa) - We’re betting total payback on this one.
Border & International Affairs: Norma Chavez (D-El Paso)
Business & Industry: Helen Giddings (D-Dallas)
Calendars: Beverly Woolley (R-Houston)
Civil Practices: Joe Nixon (R-Houston) Patrick Rose (D-Dripping Springs) Nixon gave up his seat to run for Senate & lost in the primary. Too bad, so sad. But why replace him with a dimocrat?
Corrections: Jerry Madden (R-Richardson)
County Affairs: Wayne Smith (R-Baytown)
Criminal Jurisprudence: Terry Keel (R-Austin) Aaron Pena (D-Edinburg) Terry Keel gave up his seat to run for the Court of Criminal Appeals. He lost. Too bad, so sad, but why replace the chair with a dimocrat?
Culture, Recreation, & Tourism: Harvey Hildebran (R-Kerrville)
Defense Affairs & State-Federal Relations: Frank Corte, Jr (R-San Antonio)
Economic Development: Allan Ritter (D-Nederland) Lois Kolkorst (R-Brenham) Too bad for the dimocrat chair.
Elections: Mary Denny (R-Aubrey) Dwayne Bohac (R-Houston) Denny decided not to run again
Energy Resources: Buddy West (R-Odessa) Myra Crownover (R-Denton) What did Buddy ever do to Craddick? Any guesses? Our memory is not quite what it used to be…..
Environmental Regulation: Dennis Bonnen (R-Angleton)
Financial Institutions: Burt Solomons (R-Carrollton)
General Investigating and Ethics: (Kevin Bailey D-Houston) Tracy King (D-Eagle Pass) Any guesses here?
Government Reform: Carlos Uresti (D-San Antonio) John Otto (R-Liberty) How about a guess on this one? At least the chair went to a republican.
Higher Education: Geanie Morrison (R-Victoria)
House Administration: Peggy Hamrick (R-Houston) Leo Berman (R-Tyler) Peggy Hamrick gave up her seat to run for Senate & lost in the primary. Too bad, so sad. At least Craddick replaced her with a republican.
Human Services: Suzanna Gratia Hupp (R-Kileen) Vicki Truitt (R-Keller) Gratia Hupp decided not to run again, but at least the chair stays republican.
Insurance: John Smithee (R-Amarillo)
Judiciary: Will Hartnett (R-Dallas)
Juvenile Justice & Family Issues: Harold Dutton (D-Houston)
Land & Resource Managment: Anna Mowery (R-Fort Worth)
Law Enforcement: Joe Driver (R-Garland)
Licensing & Administrative Procedures: Kino Flores (D-Mission)
Local & Consent Calendars: Elvira Renya (R-Mesquite) Charlie Howard (R-Sugar Land) Renya lost in the primary. Too bad, so sad, but our side of the aisle kept the chair.
Local Government Ways & Means: Fred Hill (R-Richardson)
Natural Resources: Robert Puente (D-San Antonio)
Pensions & Investments: Craig Eiland (D-Galveston) Dan Flynn (R-Van) Total Payback! At least we got a republican chair out of it.
Public Education: Kent Grusendorf (R-Arlington) Rob Eissler (R-The Woodlands) Lost his seat during the primary. Too bad, so sad. Again, a keeper for our side.
Public Health: Dianne White Delisi (R-Temple)
Redistricting: Joe Crabb (R-Atascocita)
Regulated Industries: Phil King (R-Weatherford)
Rules & Resolutions: Al Edwards (D-Houston) Dan Branch (R-Dallas) Lost his seat in the primary. Too bad, so sad, but we got a republican chair out of it.
State Affairs: David Swinford (R-Dumas)
Transportation: Mike Krusee (R-Round Rock)
Urban Affairs: Robert Talton (R-Pasadena) Kevin Bailey (D-Houston) Total payback! Why give this over to a dimocrat?
Ways & Means: Jim Keffer (R-Eastland)
One of the “improvements” to the Texas House Chamber is the lege’s very own version of the Brushy Creek Apts BUF sign. This glaring monstrosity welcomes visitors and tourists with Speaker Craddick’s name crawling across it in red lights. We always knew that the lobby whores elected members belonged in a red light district but we never thought they’d actually install a bunch of red lights in the capitol to prove it….
If you thought our lege couldn’t get any tackier, boy were you wrong. According to the Houston Chronicle’s Peggy Fikac, we can nominate dimocrat Richard Raymond for the first Martha Wong ”It seemed like a good idea at the time” award of the session. We will now be treated to the words ”In God We Trust” in the crawl. Raymond wanted the message to his fellow members, “to remind us to whom we answer”.
In the excitement and all, only two members (Howard and Burnam) seemed to remember that “In God We Trust” isn’t in the Holy Bible. However, it is printed on all our good old American folding money, seeing as it is our national motto. Wonder just which bushel full of dead presidents they wanted to remember they answer to?
Of course, all of this piety is just for show for the folks back home. The motto won’t be there when members are using the sign for lege business during a session.
Maybe some hacker will add the punchline, “All others pay cash.” Wonder how long it would take them to notice?
Bundle up your cares and woes, we’ve preserved the status quo. Let the games begin on the 80th regular session.
Craddick can plot his revenge and pick his new committee chairs while perched on his thousand dollar throne and Nadine can scrub his tighty whities in her ultra high dollar washin’ machine in the Craddick Crib. Paul Burka has his usual freakishly deadon take up on BurkaBlog and Rick Perry vs The World has a really interesting take on the failed coup.
Over in Dewhurst’s Digs, new senator Dan Patrick got his legislative legacy off to a roaring start - his bill to abolish the 2/3’s rule went down in flames 30 - 1.
Compared to what went on up in DC today - The Great Texas Turmoil was a cakewalk.
According to Harvey Kronberg over at the Quorum Report, Richard Raymond - dimocrat from Laredo - is the latest to switch his speaker pledge to Jim Pitts, thanks in part to Craddick and Company’s heavy-handed threats and thuggery. Raymond claims that Craddick is going to lose and lose big on Tuesday.
Well d’uh. Not that we would take a dimocrat’s word for it, but by the press conference last week, our republican tipsters had Pitts getting the gavel with 85 firm (as opposed to Craddick’s phantom) pledges. That was last week. Before the stampede away from Craddick really began.
We just loooooove it when a good political plan comes together. Hope Squeaky and the Kid enjoy their stints in Siberia. However, the people who are going to ultimately pay the price for their misguided allegiance to the spoiled and soiled speaker are all the people who live, work, and raise their families in Wilco World.
Thanks guys.
We’ve made no secret that we think it’s high time for Craddick to be flushed down one of the $1,000 toilets in the Craddick Crib. Check out our previous posts Free Fallin’, Do You Hear What I Hear?, Cooking the Calendars, Another One Down, The Money Pit, Death and Taxes, Tea for Two, We’re Baaaaack, and Who’s Your Daddy? for just a couple of the reasons why.
Now Craddick gives us yet another one. He’s got a new pledge card for his minions supporters. Pledging your fealty is no longer enough. Now you have to pinky swear that you will support a rules change that could make him Imam speaker forever. Shades of the Devil and Daniel Webster.
Dude!! Check your meds…
Wilco’s representatives - Dan Gattis the Younger and Mikey “Squeaker” Krussee - have pledged their loyalty oaths to Craddick. We expected as much from Squeaker, but we are sorely disappointed by Gattis the Younger. Both cited their support being the result of having given their word to or support by him in the past. Gotta keep those trains running on time and all. Right??
To that cop out we ask, simply: What about your word to your constituents? You know, those irritating little people who voted you into office to begin with….
Our bad. We can only surmise that the interests of citizens come in second to the special interests. Again. Check out this item in the Houston Chronicle. Note to soon-to-be-former-speaker Craddick: When you are trying to herd a bunch of feral cats, setting your pet lobbyists attack dogs loose is not the best way to accomplish the task.
A pox on the lot of you. The power and attention you covet so much is merely fleeting while the stain upon your soul is forever.