Do you remember where you were on August 9, 1974?  It was pivotal day in our country’s history.  If you need a hint, check out the headline again, you morons.  

Richard M. Nixon resigned the presidency in disgrace that day and Jerry Ford assumed the mantle of office.  It was a time of national upheaval and change.  Time has healed many of the wounds Nixon inflicted upon our country.   His pardon for Nixon overshadowed everything else he accomplished during his 35 years of public service, beginning with his enlistment in the US Navy after the attack on Pearl Harbor.    

He was a man of great courage and class.  He deserves to be remembered with honor, for he set the stage for republicans to follow, guiding them out of the wilderness of Watergate.  He helped Ronald Reagan and George 41 on their paths to the oval office. 

Our prayers are with his wife of 52 years, Betty, and his children.  Farewell Mr. President.  We hope St. Peter is rounding out your foursome at that great golfcourse in the sky.

Crazy she-mom Cindy Sheehan was busted again today.  Ho hum.  We wouldn’t really care all that much - ‘ceptin’ that, according to the Houston Chronicle she just got a “conditional discharge” for Trespassing up in New York City.   One of the rules is that while you can continue to do stoopid things, you can’t do stoopid things that get you arrested. 

Seems she & a couple other loony protesters were lying out in the middle of the road that leads to W’s ranch.  Who knows, she might have been trying to be the world’s most creative media whore - advertising her wares by lying down in the middle of the road instead of struttin’ her stuff on the shoulders like a professional streetwalker.

The story has it that her antics held up Dick Cheney’s motorcade.   Too bad he left the shotgun back at the ranch.  That shooting would have been deserving of another Texas Monthly cover and bum steer award.

Bet she’s pissed she didn’t get run over.  We sure are.

Ladies and Gents, it’s beginning to look like we maybe got ourselves a shorenuff Texas-style a** kickin’ eviction fixin’ to happen up there in the capitol.   ’Bout darn time, too. 

Rumors are flyin’ through the rotunda faster than the bats take off out from under the Congress Avenue bridge.  Craddick’s 109 pledges have supposedly dwindled down to 80.  Ouch, ouch, baby, that’s gotta hurt. That’s kind of interesting, but it only takes 75 to win - BFD. 

In a roundhouse bitchslap, Sefronia Thompson has allegedly released her pledges to Brian McCall.  Kapow!! Another rumor has Craddick throwing Nancy Fisher (his chief enforcer hatchet chick pet boa constrictor girl friday) under the bus and promising a kinder, gentler gavel next session.  Yeah, yeah - the check’s in the mail, too.  If any member believes that, send us an email - we’ve got a cool looking bridge for you real cheap.

The buzzards are circling the capitol dome in anticipation of a carcass being staked out on the lawn.  Just whose carcass it will be remains to be seen.  However, our tipsters gleefully report that members are in open revolt and Craddick is toast - with his enemies zeroing in like gulf coast mosquitoes at sunset.   

One thing we do know - he’ll try a whole lot of kneecapping between now and Jan 9th.   Either way, the bodies are going to start piling up like cordwood.   We just don’t want them to be republican bodies next November.

If you think we’re too harsh, here are our top ten reasons to Can Craddick:

10.  Texas Parent PAC 

9.  Leininger PAC

 8.  Ardmore

 7.  Bill Hammond’s big mouth

 6.  Indicted Former BFF John Colyandro

 5.  TRMPAC

 4.  Craddick’s capitol crib

 3.  Craddick’s campaign calendar

 2. School Finance Reform

 1. Tom DeLay 

OK.  We admit it.  We’re still in a snit over the election results.  Maybe a couple gallons of Christmas Cheer will help.  Or not.

Check out the BurkaBlog for some interesting rumor mongreling about the speaker’s race.  The long knives and big guns are really out to get uber conservative Robert Talton from Pasadena. 

That, in itself, is a hint that the house that DeLay Craddick built is crumbling.  Delusional dimocrat Senfronia Thompson doesn’t stand a chance.  Neither do Burt Solomons, Bill Callegari, Tony Goolsby, Ed Kuempel, or Warren Chisum.  To be speaker, you gotta have a pulse first.  They’re all petrified wood, no good for either furniture or kindling.  Burka’s apparent favorite, Brian McCall, sure doesn’t have to worry about defending any of his legislative history.

Our merry tipsters tell us Mike Krusee is mightily interested in being speaker.  Silly boy.  Like that’s gonna happen.  We admit that speaker squeaker has a nice ring to it….We’ve said before that Craddick deserves to be evicted from his capitol crib, but Mikey is just not the guy to do it. 

We’d like to see Craddick’s capitol crib turned into a museum, or a library, or maybe a wedding chapel.  Heck fire - even a homeless shelter would be better than what the voters believe it to be now - an antechamber for lobbyists and fat cat donors to skirt the rules.

UPDATE   UPDATE   UPDATE:  Kudos to Paul Burka - he was the first to nail down all the rumors and break this story.  Here’s some more, more, more, and more from the Houston Chronicle and a little something, something , something from the Statesman. 

There’s a reason for the season - or so our leaders would like us to believe.

We guess the other reason is a post-election opportunity to send holiday greeting cards to the party faithful, donors, supporters, or just whoever has the misfortune to wind up on a political mail list purchased by a candidate.

We’ve gotten some very nice holiday cards - some with printed signatures, some with real signatures. Senator Kay’s has everything you’d want in a political holiday card - the US Senate seal, artwork by her kids, and a cookie recipe.

Then there’s Attorney General Greg Abbot.

His card shows he truly is a balls to the walls politician. His card pictures him on “Election Night 2006″ with a bunch of heavy weights (pun intended). Who are all those fat people??? That crowd’s got more chins than a chinese phone book. The photo apparently was taken at the Perry HQ - because the backdrop used has the Guv’s Proud of Texas campaign motto emblazoned all over the place.

Who knows. Maybe Abbott didn’t want to spend any of his very sizeable warchest on a new photograph or a even a card. Heck fire, maybe he got the guv to pick up the tab - seeing as Perry’s name is all over it and Abbott looks like a karaoke wannabe waiting in the wings. We assume his including Luke 2:14 on the inside cover is a sop to the christian conservatives, not a revelation of any anti-war sentiment on his part.

You don’t have to take our word for it. Here it is. Take a looksee for yourself:

Betcha Speaker Craddick is mighty thankful for those $1,000 toilets in his capitol crib right about now (See The Money Pit). 

State District Judge Margaret Cooper has ordered the Speaker to turn over his campaign calendar for review.  At issue are 142 entries spanning an 18-month period.  The Speaker’s claiming his “campaign” calendar is not subject to the Open Records Act because it’s a “private” document.  Hmmm… Is that like saying sex with children or hookers shouldn’t be illegal because it’s a private act?   

Keeping two sets of books calendars to circumvent rules and regulations.  Shades of Enron.  That excuse doesn’t fly for corporations - it shouldn’t fly for politicians either. 

This is soooo not the type of guy we need as Speaker. 

According to the Associated Press, we can chalk up another seat on the blue side of the beltway for Ciro Rodriguez - who will be replacing Henry Bonilla. 

With about 95% of the vote in, Rodriguez is leading Bonilla 54,146 to 45,463.  There are still 8 precincts still out in Medina County and 5 in Bexar County.  Bonilla stomped him in Medina County, but is trailing by about 12,000 votes in Bexar County.  It depends on which precincts are still out - but it looks like Henry will be joining the ranks of the unelected. 

On the bright side….

Well, as soon as we can think of one, we will let you know.

The New Orleans Times-Picayune is reporting that Louisiana voters overwhelming voted to return William Jefferson to congress.  Why were we not surprised?  Check out Fool Me Twice; The Other Brass Ring; Disgusting, Deceitful, Disgraceful; Dirty Rotten Scoundrels; and All in The Family.

Check out our “Iminent Indictiment Watch” to see just how long ago it’s been since the feds found his freezer full of bribe money.  Both Louisiana and Nancy Pelosi’s congress deserve him.

Ugh. 

Whatever are we going to do without the insane antics of soon-to-be-former-congresscrazywoman Cynthia McKinney of Georgia?  The shrew who slugged a capitol cop because he stopped her as she tried to run around the metal detectors in the capitol (see Georgia On My Mind).  Watch out for the doorknob, Cindy…

Her legislative legacy includes a bill demanding the government open up all its records regarding the 1996 murder of gangsta rapper Tupac Shakur.  She also tried to create a collection of his gangsta rap at the national archives and rustle up support for a Tupac Shakur Center for the Arts in Stone Mountain, Georgia.  She was BFF for a while with fellow crazy she-mom Cindy Sheehan. 

Her parting shot was to file a bill calling for the impeachment of W, Dick Cheney, & Condoleeza Rice.  The Atlantic Free Press views her as a victim of the evil war machine.  The Blogger News Network agrees with our opinion of her mental health.  She got kicked to the curb by Georgia voters after her anti-american antics following 9/11. 

Will she be back in two years?  Who knows.  Like herpes, Georgia might never be rid of her.