Told you this was going to be a fun election season….

Political pundits are making much of Kinky Friedman’s use of the n word in a comedy routine some twenty years ago.  More recently, he quipped that sexual predators should be tossed in prison and be made to listen to a negro talking to himself.  Then, he stuck his other foot in his mouth and referred to hurricane Katrina evacuees as crackheads and thugs.

The dimocrat bloggers are taking pot shots (pun intended) at Kinky because they believe it may help their candidate slither into second place.  We know dimocrats don’t have much of a sense of humor…it interferes with their wringing of hands, renting of clothes, and gnashing of teeth. 

Be that as it may, here’s a news flash for all you donkey lovers:  Nothing Kinky said 20+ years ago is going to help Chris Bell hobble into that dinky, yet over-decorated, mansion on Colorado Street.  Not even if Kinky puts on one of those Cedar Park thongs and dances the macarena with Leslie on the steps of the capitol.

Too bad.  So sad.

The 45th Governor of Texas has passed into the pages of history.  She leaves behind a legacy of what good government should always be - transparent and open. 

Her flash and sass earned her a place on the national political stage - but she remained true to her Texas roots.  Unlike today’s plastic politicians, Governor Richards was a wysiwyg woman - what you saw was what you got. We were alternatively amused and bemused by her charm and rapier wit.

Like our current governor, she was always perfectly coiffed.  Maybe that’s where he learned how to keep his hair done just right - no matter what sort of Texas weather he was in.

Goodbye Miss Ann.  God Bless.

The political psychics pollsters have been gazing into their crystal balls, working the phones and spamming email boxes across Texas.  Thanks to their tireless, if greatly annoying efforts, the results are out.  Things are starting to move, which is par for the course at this time of an election year.  The polls were taken the past week or so, just before the ad blitzes by Perry & She Who Will Not Be Named.  As usual, Paul Burka (of Texas Monthly) has the best analysis, so we’ll just hit the numbers.

The Wall Street Journal / Zogby Poll shows Perry in the lead (30.7%), but has Bell blasting up - well, blasting up for him at least (25.3%).  Kinky leapt over SWWNBN 22.4% to 11.1%.  An interesting note is the .1% leap since July for the granny (See Lovers and Liars).  Now for the bad news, Perry’s lead dropped 7.6 points, Bell moved up 4.7 points, and Kinky inched forward a whole 1.7 points. 

On the senate side, even with a 2.3 point bounce, Miss Kitty is still blowing the pantyhose off Barbie the donkey lady 47.8% to 39%.   Even for a dimocrat, that spread has got to hurt.

Rasmussen has Perry at 33%, SWWNBN at 22%, Bell at 18% and Kinky at 16%. 

Perry’s downhill slide still leaves him a cozy cushion of anywhere from five to ten points ahead the slugfest for second place.  Second place is still a loser - just like fifth place in this race.

The fat lady isn’t anywhere near the building yet, nor has she started warming up her warbles.  This is going to be some kind of fun to watch.

September 11, 2001.  The day the world as we knew it changed.  Forever.  By the way, Mayor Nagin?  It’s not “a hole in the ground” up there in New York.  It’s a gravesite. 

08:46:26  American Airlines Flight 11 struck the North Tower of the World Trade Center

09:02:54  United Airlines Flight 175 struck the South Tower of the World Trade Center

09:37  American Airlines Flight 77 struck the Pentagon

10:03:11  United Airlines Flight 93 crashed in Pennsylvania

10:05  South Tower of the World Trade Center collapsed

10:28  North Tower of the World Trade Center collapsed 

The kind you cook with, not the congressional kind.  

The term “pork” has been replaced by the politically correct term “earmarking”.  Earmarking is the term used in polite company to describe the practice of flinging bushels of taxdollars to a politician’s district - usually in exchange for political contributions or in an attempt to woo voters.   The most egregious example is Boston’s “Big Dig”.  At more than $4 million per mile, it’s a frightfully expensive hole in the ground that will continue to suck up tax dollars as engineers and politicians try to figure out how to plug up the leaks and keep it from killing more commuters.

Pork was the accepted way to grease the skids up in the beltway.  Wink, wink, nudge, nudge…  It was, until Jack Abramoff, Duke Cunningham and Tom DeLay’s former staffers gave it a really bad rap.  Pork or earmarks.  Either way, it’s like cat droppings in a cat box.  You can cover it up, motorize it, and/or deodorize it.  Underneath it all, it’s still cat droppings and it still stinks.   

Check out this item in the Statesman.  I guess we should be happy that some in our congressional delegation are trying to shed light on the practice.  We will  support any effort to turn over all the rocks up in congress and see what crawls out from under them.  We will support any effort to make all pork public - at the time of introduction or filing.

We’d like a really bright light be shone on the innerworkings and underbelly of congress.  However, we’re pretty sure it will wind up being only a dim bulb, not a spotlight.  Come the second Wednesday of November, it will fade away until elections roll around again.

We deserve better than that.  We deserve better.  Remember this in November.

The governor’s campaign has a blog over at his campaign website, the Perry Alliance Network.  All you Perrynistas can check it out.  We won’t, because you have to register to read it.  We already get enough political spam without signing up for more.

The logo is quite interesing.  We get the JRP intials - but what’s up with the giant eyebrow thingy?  Maybe it’s a giant hot dog on top?  Could it be the flattened carcass of the dimocrat party?

Y’all decide and let us know what you think it is.

Politicians frequently forget who they represent and to whom they are accountable.  Federal prisons are filling with former politicos and their flunkies who forgot our government is to be of the people, by the people, and for the people, NOT of me, for me, and by me.

Here’s a word for incumbents to remember this election cycle:   

Hubris:  Overbearing pride or presumption; arrogance.  noun

Not content to show his hindquarters to his constituents via the Austin American Statesman (see Put a Cork in It), Carter also mooned the Austin Chronicle, first by giving bogus phone numbers, then by failing to return calls to the reporter. 

Not content to stick a shiv in just the big city media, Carter flipped off the locals, too.  Check out the Temple Daily Telegram.  When asked if he would take part in a debate among local candidates on KNCT-TV, a public television station, Carter replied,

“No, no, no -  I don’t believe I’m going to be able to do that.” Carter said. “I mean, that’s public television, and that’s public radio.  I’ll have to think about that.  I might do it.  I haven’t decided yet.” 

We can’t decide whether Carter flip flops more than a high-school virgin in the back seat of a Chevy or John Kerry.  Love that decisiveness, too. 

If that’s the best he can do, we don’t blame him for wanting to dodge reporters and a live debate.  Of course, up in DC, he’s got an entire staff to tell him how to vote and what to say.  In a live debate, voters could decide for themselves if he is worthy of their vote.  Or not.  By refusing to take part, Carter also keeps his opponents from participating, which might be the real reason behind his refusal. 

Right now, Carter just looks cowardly, not congressional.  For Pete’s sake, he ate recalcitrant lawyers for breakfast from the bench & picked his teeth with their bones for years before going to congress.  So now, he’s afraid of a baby lawyer and a libertarian?

Sheesh.  To borrow a phrase from Kinky - how hard can it be?  Our advice?  Tell your handlers to take a hike.  They aren’t doing you any favors.

Sometimes, it’s just too easy.  According to the Hill Country News, seems the folks over in Cedar Park licensed their logo to a company to be put on all manner of things. 

Evidently somebody in Cedar Park reads the Austin American Statesman - or maybe they just know somebody who does….  Either way, after reading the Statesman item, which touted the city’s latest marketing venture, city officials instructed the company to stop selling thongs with the city logo on them.

Ooookaaaayyyyy.  Either it’s a very small logo, or the company is selling some weird looking thongs.  We’re kinda wondering exactly who would spend good money on city branded underwear?  Is there a large population of civic-minded pole dancers over in Cedar Park that we didn’t know about?  It also begs the question who approved the thongs?  A “Keep Austin Weird” thong makes sense - especially for Leslie, the unofficial mascot of Austin. 

But Cedar Park?  We’ve seen some of the people who live in Cedar Park.  With the exception of commissioner-elect Cynthia Long - none of the elected officials from Cedar Park would look good in a thong.