This was the week for giant political gaffes.  You try and figure out which idiot politician deserves the “ant tracks” award this week.

On Monday, Virginia’s George Allen seemed to have the ant tracks award all to himself (See Hoof in Mouth).  Seems like we jumped the gun.

On Wednesday, the Statesman contacted congressman John Carter regarding his demural in debating his opponent, Mary Beth Harrell.   Saying he doesn’t start campaigning until October, Carter crowed, “People earn the right to debate me.”  As if that foot didn’t quite fill up his entire mouth, he felt compelled to add, “I will determine how and not them.”  Guess he forgot his law school lessons about simple responses.

On Thursday, former UN ambassador Andrew Young, hired to represent Wal-Mart & lobby minority groups and civic associations, announced his resignation from his cushy PR gig.  Seems he referred to Wal Mart’s displacing local “mom & pop” stores thusly:

“Well, I think they (Wal-Mart) should (displace mom & pop stores); they ran the ‘mom and pop’ stores out of my neighborhood.”  

This is why Wal-Mart hired him?  Maybe Wal-Mart thinks that’s a positive spin?  Evidently, Young was still hungry, and chomped on his feet some more, adding:

“But you see, those are the people who have been overcharging us - selling us stale bread, and bad meat and wilted vegetables.  And they sold out and moved to Florida.  I think they’ve ripped off our communities enough.  First it was Jews, then it was Koreans and now it’s Arabs, very few black people own these stores.”

Maybe Wal-Mart should just cut to the chase and hire Louis Farrakhan and David Duke to improve their corporate image.

Also on Thursday, Republican primary candidate Tramm Hudson, who’s running for senate against Katherine Harris (she of hanging chads fame) chomped down on his size nines when a video clip surfaced in Red State in which he said:

“I grew up in Alabama.  I understand, uh, I know from experience that blacks are not the greatest swimmers or may not even know how to swim.”

Guess in Hudson’s world, black people can play football and basketball, and probably box but not swim.  Tennis anyone?  To give him the tiny bit of credit he deserves, he did apologize, kinda sorta, at least for a politician:

“I said something stupid.  I apologize for it and would apologize in person to anyone hurt by my comments.  To those who are understandably offended, you have my deepest apologies, and I want you to know that it was out of character for me and those who know me know that to be a fact.  This was a thoughtless remark that does not reflect my lifetime commitment to treating everyone fairly and without bias.  I apologize to everyone who is offended by this comment.”

About the only thing he forgot to include in his apology was that some of his best friends are black.  Oh, wait.  On his website, you can find some of his friends are black.

Maybe hottub Tom DeLay might ought to rethink his plan to go to work on K Street.  Looks like the architect of the infamous K Street Project might have to scrape by on his congressional pension alone.  Poor bastard.  Get him some government cheese to go with that whine.

Beltway lobbyists are known for having their little brown noses accutely attuned to the ever-shifting political winds wafting down the halls of congress.  Able to detect the merest tremor of a change in the balance of power, they scamper like rats from a sinking ship. 

According to WaPo, they are doing just that.

How the mighty have fallen.  Back in DeLay’s heyday, you had to prove your pachyderm-ness - usually by your ability to pick the pocket of say, indian tribes or the faithful.   If you passed that test, you were given the priviledge of hiring a scion of the party - like Michael Scanlon.  Too bad, donks, you were all so 15 minutes ago.

Proving what goes around, comes around, several of the big beltway lobby corps are now hiring dimocrats - in expectation of a new majority when the bouncing baby new year arrives.  Of course, a lot of DeLay’s original K Streeters are under indictment or serving time in the federal pen.  Who knew they were such canaries.

Payback is a b*tch.

Virginia’s senator George Allen was perceived by many to be THE republican choice for the ‘08 presidential stakes.  Until Monday, that is.

According to the Washington Post, that’s when he let his mouth overload his assets and pointed to a dark-skinned person of Indian descent in the audience saying,

“This fellow here, over here with the yellow shirt, macaca, or whatever his name is.  He’s with my opponent.  He’s following us around everywhere.  And it’s just great.”

Not content with just one foot in his mouth, Allen continued,

“Let’s give a welcome to macaca, here.  Welcome to America and the real world of Virginia.

Oops, apparently “macaca” is the name of a town in South Africa and some sort of monkey.  It’s also a european ethnic slur used against African immigrants.  For those readers too dense to figure it out, in the US of A, a similar ethnic slur is referred to in polite company as “the N word”. 

Of course, the whole thing was captured on video tape. 

Allen tried to crawfish out of it saying he was referring to the guy’s haircut.  He called it a mohawk.  It was a mullet.  Dude, there is a world of difference between a mohawk and a mullet.  When that didn’t fly, he finally apologized, but the damage is done.   

The people of Virginia might deserve an ignorant redneck as a senator.  Who cares.  They have Tom DeLay now, too.  But we sure as heck don’t need him as our standard bearer in ‘08.

UPDATE  UPDATE  UPDATE:  Today’s WaPo has follow up story on the serial stupidity of senator George Allen.  It includes a link to the video.  A true CSI moment.  What fools politicians be.

Looks like Dellionnaire Ben Bentzin will withdraw from the race for House District 48 tomorrow.  According to the Austin American Statesman,  Bentzin claimed he will be too busy with new business ventures to campaign and shined whined about the ”negative tone” of the campaign.  Dude, did you ever actually watch your gawdawful TV ad?  It’s worse than that dimocrat’s “Bellzilla” ad.

Well, boo hoo hoo you big baby.  What did you expect?  This is politics, a full contact sport.  If you’re that much of a ninny, we’re glad to be rid of you.  If we really are rid of you.  Rumors surfaced earlier this year that Bentzin would try to position himself for a run for congress.  Just what we need, another candidate who figured out he’d rather drop out than continue to represent the republican party on the ballot.

In Wilcoworld, we now consider you guys to be stealth dimocrats, no better than party switchers.  A pox on all y’all.

Gotta love those poor dimocrats in the newly redrawn congressional districts.  As if having to come up with another $3K filing fee wasn’t bad enough for all the near-broke donks, now perennial candidate Gene Kelly has filed to run in the CD 21 race against incumbent Lamar Smith.

Yep, that Gene Kelly - the crazy candidate, not the dancing movie star.  Guess he figured he was never going to make it to the Senate.  Granted, he did come closer than ever before when he forced current dimocrat Barbara Radnofsky into a runoff back in April.  Kelly pulled 191,000 votes in the primary and 82,000 votes in the runoff, which proves there are a whole lot of dumb*** donkeys out there.  

The former CD 21 dimocratic nominee John Courage is none to happy about having to put up with Gene Kelly on the ballot.  Kelly’s votes prove that dimocrats truly are dim if that many voted for him.  Lamar Smith has $1.2 million in his warchest, Courage has a whopping $72,000 and Kelly has….well, Kelly has a famous name.

FYI:  The oscar-winning Navy veteran Gene Kelly died February 2, 1996.

If any reader is interested in running for congress, the filing deadline for our newest five congressional districts is August 25th (see A New Plan Comes Together).  The elections will be held concurrent with the general election in November.  If any runoffs are needed, the date will be set by the Secretary of State.

The great thing about running for congress is that you don’t have to reside in the district to run.  According to the 5th Circuit, you don’t even have to live in the state….evidently the Supremes agree….  Is this great, or what??!!  If you’ve been following the other Great Texas Ballot Battle, indicted/retired congressman, erstwhile Texan, and alleged current Virginia resident Tom DeLay will remain the republican candidate for CD 22 (see Hangin’ up the hammer, New Orleans Rag, and Do as I Say).

We’ll post a list of the new congressional candidates after the deadline.

What fun.  What fun.  We have five new congressional districts in Texas, courtesy of a three-judge panel.  In June, the Supremes declared the redrawn 23rd district unconsititutional and discrimatory. 

You remember redistricting…three special sessions…Killer D’s….Ardmore…Alburquerque…a total meltdown in the lege?  A truly representative moment of government of the people, by the people, and for the people.  

Everybody and their dog - as well as a couple of sheep, goats, and maybe some yetis submitted maps and briefs to the panel for consideration.  Heck, there might have been some boxers or thongs tossed in for good measure, too.   At the end of the day, the judges proved they could use legislative mapping software just like junior redistricting clerks and created their own map.

The five new districts are currently represented by dimocrats Ruben Hinojosa (15th), Lloyd Doggett (25th), and Henry Cuellar (28th).  On the republican side of the aisle we have Lamar Smith (21st) and Henry Bonilla (23rd).  It’s going to be a wide open free for all election in November, with any runoffs set for December.   Candidates are working the phones and lighting candles as we write.

At this point, it looks like Henry Bonilla has the best chance of joining the ranks of the unemployed before landing a cushy lobby gig in DC as his new district leans dimocrat.  He’s lost his voter base in Laredo, who were apparently glad to be rid of him.  While he gains more voters in San Antonio, he can’t count on his former TV anchor wife and great looking twins to help him out, cause he ditched them 2003.  Oops.   Looks like he’s also lost his TV anchor looks and hair while he was at it, too.

Lamar Smith is going to have to pound the pavement in a much larger district to retain his seat.  Looks like “Scrooge” Smith might have to break down and actually mount a campaign and spend some of his sizable warchest for a change.  What a concept. The new 21st is still a solid republican district, but with a whole lot of new voters who have never seen or heard of him before.

Lloyd Doggett’s new 25th is a much more compact district, no longer gerrymandered all the way to the border.  We wish he had run for the border, crossed it and stayed there.  Doggett, is a dog-eared dimocrat who’s time has come and gone.  Long gone.  His new district is 50 - 55% dimocrat, which could be in play only if a moderate republican can gear up and run against him.  We are soooo not talking about Ben Bentzin here.

Ruben Hinojosa is a tired old yellow dog dimocrat who, like Doggett, is long overdue for retirement.  He’s been losing voters along with his hair.  It’s still a strong dimocrat district - 50 - 55%, but winable if you find the right candidate.  Henry Cuellar’s new 28th is also pretty much a dimocrat district, but Cuellar’s legendary primary battles with Ciro Rodriguez may have softened them both up enough for the right republican to take them both out with a TKO.  A pox on all of them.

Given the negative public opinion toward congress and incumbent politicians, it’s sure going to be interesting to watch how these play out.

We admit it.  We read the tabloids while we’re waiting in checkout lines.  We especially like the ones with stories about aliens taking over the congress.  Outer space aliens, not illegal ones…

Oops.  We digress.   We also admit we read other blogs.  A fellow political blogger, Pink Dome, is way, way, waaay left of center and a half bubble off plumb on most things, but is collecting goodies and such to send to some Marines over in the sand box.   No matter what his political leanings are, Charlie and Co are doing this to help some Marines.

He’ll email you his address so you can drop off some goodies or you can make a donation via pay pal. 

Semper Fi.