Today, the SREC elected Cathie Adams as Chair and thoroughly marginalized the republican party of Texas. 

October 24, 2009.

We cry.

Is there something in the water in the Carolinas that makes politicians just plain stoopid?

First, there’s North Carolinian John Edwards.  You remember him?  The former Senator and blue VEEP candidate and his media whore mistress - who’s bastard love child might have been fathered by either Edwards or his former BFF Andrew Young.  Or not.  We may never know because she don’t want no DNA done to find out who’s really her baby daddy.  At least Edward’s staff was pretty much able to keep their candidate’s between the sheets campaigning under the covers.  Well, at least until the National Enquirer caught on to his lyin’, cheatin’, two-timin’ womanizin’ ways.

Course, since Edward’s is a dimocrat, did you really expect him to act any different?

Now, we have South Carolina’s governor, Mark Sanford.  Seems he decided to go for a hike and wound up in Argentina.  Which just so happens to be where his mistress, Maria, lives.  What a coincidence.  She surely must be one of those hot-blooded Latina lovers that guys love to write songs about - you know, like Tommy Boyce, Bobby Hart, and Wes Farrell wrote back in the day… 

In a little cafe just the other side of the border, she was just sitting there giving me looks that made my mouth water.  So I started walking her way.  She belonged to that man, Jose, and I knew, yes,I knew I should leave when I heard her say yeah, “Come a little bit closer, you’re my kind of man.  So big and so strong.  Come a little bit closer, I’m all alone…..And the night is so long…..”

Talk about a long distance romance. 

Just how do you solve a problem like Maria?  Unlike the lyin’ cheatin’ Edwards, once he was caught, Sanford ‘fessed up his Argentinian firecracker, sayin’ she sure put the zing back in his zipper.  This, of course, was much to the chagrin of his wife, who apparently told the philandering fool to get lost.  At least for a while.  We sorta wish she’d gotten just a tiny bit madder and tossed his clothes and stuff out the windows and all over the yard of the governor’s mansion while he was working out his detente or whatever he was working out down in Argentina.  As it is, he’s resigned from the Republican Governor’s Association.  That put Mississippi Governor and presidential wannabe Haley Barbour in that cat bird seat.

Sanford’s refusing to resign as governor.  The sharks are smelling the blood in the water and are circling.  Make no mistake, there are some very hungry sharks over in the Carolinas.  However, most of them are dimocrats.  So we say, big whoop.  Let them starve.  If they won’t eat their own, why should we feed them one of ours?

McCain has just conceded to Obama. 

Be that as it may, the fat ladies ain’t sung yet.

This is for the more than 50% of our fellow Wilco Worlders that were too darned lazy to get up off your lazy buns and early vote.

If you up and die before you drag your ownself over to go vote on Tuesday, you should go straight to hell. That’s right.  Straight. To. Hell.  We say it because that’s where you belong.  You belong there because, thanks to your shiftlessness, those wretched commie-lovin’ libruls in that County to the south of us turned out a greater percentage of early voters than we did.

Did you forget that that’s what all us red-blooded, red-state-lovin’ Wilco Worlders DO??!! 

What’s that you say?  You say you haven’t made up your mind who you want to vote for, yet?  Heckfire, maybe you’ve just plain lost your mind. 

Our advice for Tuesday?  Wear comfortable shoes and be prepared to wait in some really looooong lines.  Libruls are used to waiting in long lines - you know, like welfare lines - so don’t let the libruls win because you couldn’t be bothered to wait your turn to vote. 

Otherwise, you know where you can go…. 

Here are some first day early voting statistics for y’all:

Bexar County   29,119

Harris County   39,201

We’ll update the stats as we find them.

UPDATE   UPDATE   UPDATE:   Here are some more first day numbers:

Cameron County   3,565 

Dallas County   34,421

El Paso County  10,790

Harris County  29,301 mail ballots + 39,201 = 68,502 

Hidalgo County   8,370

Jim Wells County   337

Lubbock County   7,075

Potter County   2,967

Midland County   4,713

Nueces County   4,829

Smith County   7,661

Tarrant County   58,363

Walker County    908

Williamson County 9,307

We went to see the movie “W” so y’all wouldn’t have to. 

We admit our expectations weren’t very high to begin with.  At best, it failed to come anywhere near meeting our near non-existant expectations.  At worst, it is an excreable waste of celluloid. 

It’s two hours of our lives we will never get back.

There’s a reason we call them DIMocrats…

This is just going to be soooooooo much fun.

Well, well, well.  Seems like some of our friends and neighbors up to the northwest of us seem to be all ate up with a REALLY bad case of the stoopids.  According to the Waco Tribune, one Rachel James, a graduating senior at Gatesville High, wants to wear her Marine uniform to her commencement. 

Principal Ed Husk believes high school graduation is not the time or the place for a military uniform. 

“I have nothing against the military.  The military gave me both of my college degrees.  It’s just not appropriate for a high school graduation.”

Really??!!

In Principal Husk’s world, it’s fine and dandy to look like a thug, and dress like a thug…or maybe a cowboy, or a punkrocker, or one of those weird goth people, or even dress like a two bit whore…but you damn sure better not dress in a uniform of the United States Marine Corps.  That’s just ”not appropriate”. 

Really!!!???

Principal Husk, just exactly is not f*ing appropriate about a Marine Corps uniform??  We assume, Principal Husk, that you have the American flag at your graduation ceremony.  We assume, Principal Husk, since you claim to have 15 years military service, that you know what that flag stands for.  We assume, Principal Husk, that you know US Marines, soldiers, and sailors die nearly every damn day for what that flag stands for.  We assume, Principal Husk, that you understand the concept of service and sacrifice. 

Corporal James apparently does. 

Rachel James went above and beyond to earn her high school diploma, taking on-line classes, working part-time at night, and attending school during the day.  Ms. James EARNED her diploma and she has EARNED the right to walk across the stage.  She also EARNED the right to wear her Marine Corps uniform.  They don’t just give away those uniforms, you know.  James worked damn hard for it.     

Even the Gatesville ISD Superintendent Rick Copp got in on the Marine bashing:

“Students have to wear a cap and gown to graduation.  If you let one wear their dress blues, you open it up for everyone to wear whatever type of uniform they want to wear.”

REALLY??!!  

OMG!!! Do you expect people to believe that high school students up in Gatesville, Texas are gonna demand to wear all manner of uniforms to graduation??  Dude, what are you expecting?  That they’ll show up for commencement wearing their football uniforms, Hooter’s uniforms, or their jail trusty uniforms??

So, Principal Husk and Superintendent Copp, we say: Get over yourselves!

GISD School Board members have yet to weigh in on this imbroglio.  Here’s hoping they have more sense than their superintendent and principal. 

Sheesh!  You go out of town on vacation and things just start poppin’ like illegal fireworks inside the city limits.

Hapless Mike “Squeaker” Krusee got busted for drunk driving by the Highway Patrol.  The Statesman was nice enough to print a copy of his mugshot and KEYE TV posted the Trooper’s complaint so we can all rejoice vicariously enjoy experience his misfortune. 

Krusee was busted about 10 o’clock last Wednesday night, just hours after Governor Perry didn’t appoint him to the Texas Transportation Commission.  Talk about drowning your sorrows….

We can only surmise that Krusee may have thought his State Official license plates were some sort of license to drive drunk.  Who knows, maybe they were…at least until they expired last year.  Can you say dumber than dirt? 

Krusee lawyer’ed up and refused a breath test and didn’t submit to a blood test.  According to the complaint, he was stinkin’ drunk, but without the tests we’ll never know exactly how stinkin’ drunk he was.  Of course, like most drunk drivers, he claimed he only had “one glass of wine”.  Yeah, yeah, we know that’s lame ass drunk talk, but it sure must have been some awfully stout wine for one glass to make him bleary-eyed drunk.  Either that, or the poor schmuck just can’t hold his liquor.   

No wonder he used to be speaker Craddick’s former BFF. Talk about a cheap vote. 

Thank God for DPS Trooper Michael Scheffler (and all the Troopers and Police Officers just like him) who are willing to do their sworn duty to protect citizens of Texas, no matter what.  We don’t know how many innocent lives Scheffler saved by stopping Krusee when he did and arresting him.  We do know that, thanks to him, there was one less drunk driver careening down the road last Wednesday night.

We also know he probably saved Krusee’s life last Wednesday.  Whether it was worth it or not remains to be seen. 

In our part of Wilco World, we’ve got a special place in our hearts for America’s service men and women.  We believe they have earned our respect and deserve much more the paltry benefits Congress doles out to them.  (Except for alleged rapist and murderer Cesar Laurean - who, if guilty, deserves a very slow and very painful death.)

However, we believe there is a truly special place in Hell for those who seek to enrich or promote themselves on the backs of our fine veterans.  We hereby nominate Roger Chapin, Mike Lynch, and Richard A. Viguerie for such a special little hot spot. 

According to the Washington Post, the unholy trio created two charities, Help Hospitalized Veterans and the Coalition to Support America’s Heroes.  The first raised more than $168 million in two years, with 75% going to fund the trio’s lavish lifestyles, country club memberships, trips, loans, salaries, spousal support, and so on.  They make Congressional junkets look like a quickie in a hot sheet motel. 

In his testimony before Congress, Chapin defended the current lack of disclosure regulations for charities stating,

“If we disclose, which I’m more than happy to do, we’d all be out of business.  Nobody would donate.  It would dry up.”   

It appears Chapin’s charities are so inept at managing their funds that the American Institute of Philanthropy has them on their watch list.

The really special, special place in Hell is reserved for retired Generals Tommy Franks and Arthur Diehl, III, who sold their reputations, rank, and influence to Chapin’s charities for a paltry thirty pieces of silver.  Franks got $100 grand and Diehl got a cool $5K a month.

We are dismayed at their fall from glory because of simple greed.  We are dismayed that they have cheapened the ranks of General Officers.  In our book, they are Officers and Gentlemen no more.  

To Hell with you Generals.  To Hell with You.